A Journey of Searching The Real Me. (PART 1)

:This is the sequel of my previous entry of DO I KNOW ME?. I'm writing this in sequence, so that the entry wouldn't be too long:

This is not my drawings.

I don't even know the real me.
I mean, my real abilities. I won prizes in Drawing Competition when I was a kid. So, at that time, I thought I have talents in Art. Drawing and coloring, is sooo me (again, allow me to remind you, I'm thinking this during that time). :)

This is not my drawings.

This is not my drawings.

This is not my drawings.

But now, I don't even know how to draw well, I mean real well. My drawings look sucks. It needs time to draw a good in quality of pictures, any type of pictures will do, but yes, I am an impatient person, I can't stand to draw things for quite a long period of time. 


"Every good picture leaves the painter eager to start again, unsatisfied, inspired by the rich mine in which he is working, hoping for more energy, more vitality, more time - condemned to painting for life." - John French Sloan.


You know what people say about a person like me, in Malay, it is called, hangat-hangat tahi ayam. It literally means, a person who is doing something in earnest only at the beginning. Eventually, he or she will left it behind when that person began to get bored. You got what I mean? Yeah, that's me. So, forget it. I'm so not taking painting as my profession and career as well.


Huh! But then, WHO AM I? Help me peeps in the journey of searching myself. This holiday, I want to re-fine me, I wanna define who is me, I wanna be better, so next time, I'll be a better person, a better lover, also a daughter where my parents can proud of. I wanna be an independent woman. Woman?? How do I know I'm already a woman and not a girl anymore? Nahhh, I don't really know actually, but I guess since I'm turning 22 yrs old in less than 2 months in time, then I guess, I shouldn't act like a kid anymore. I shouldn't be so immature. I wanna be better, not perfect, just better than who I am right now. This is my mission for this semester break. This takes time, and I hope I can make it. Seriously, if I'm not changing my lifestyle, I will not success in the future of my life. I'm not going to get my dream job, hard to find a job and maybe will meet a failure in my personal life as well. My Oh My~


will be continued..